Best Billy Crystal Jokes from 2012 Oscars

The Best Picture Medley

During Crystal's signature song incorporating all nine Best Picture nominees, Crystal brought up nominee Jonah Hill's weight loss. "It's great you shed weight," he sang to the actor. "But I think you should know, there's cupcakes after the show."

Clooney Kiss

In the opening movie montage, Crystal awakes to find himself in a hospital scene from "The Descendants" being kissed by George Clooney. Later in the show, he looked at Clooney's girlfriend, Stacy Keibler, and quipped: "You're a lucky girl. He's a very good kisser."

Don't Make Christian Bale Mad

Before Oscar winner Christian Bale took the stage, Crystal began: "A 'Dark Knight,' an 'American Psycho,' a charismatic crack addict. You'll get to choose one on Super Tuesday." It was a swipe at the Republican presidential nominees, sure, but Crystal soon zeroed in more closely on the next presenter, referencing that infamous viral rant from 2009. "Academy Award winner -- and be careful if you're in his eyeline -- Christian Bale."

The Former Kodak Theater

In recent weeks, news hit that the Kodak Theater would be changing its name, due to the longtime sponsor's recent financial troubles. "We're here at the beautiful Chapter 11 Theater," Crystal said, in one of many related jokes. Billy joked later, referring to how old the Oscars are, "Next year this'll be called the Flomax theatre."

Yes, They're Rich

Much like Golden Globes host Ricky Gervais, Crystal made fun on the Oscars extravagance. "Nothing takes the sting out of these tough economic times like watching a bunch of millionaires giving golden statues to each other," he smiled.

Tres Bon

On Jean Dujardin's Best Actor win, Billy quipped, "They must be going nuts in France right now. Or whatever the French have in place of joy."

Billy is a Mind Reader

The host let the audience in on what some of the Academy Award attendees were thinking.[img:http://c.gigcount.com/wildfire/IMP/CXNID=2000002.0NXC/bT*xJmx*PTEzMzAzMjIwMjQ3NTgmcHQ9MTMzMDMyMjEwMjQxMyZwPTczMDM3MSZkPUFCQ19TRlBfTG9ja2VfRW1iZWRfVkQ1NTE3/NTU4M19CaWxseUNyeXN*YWxJc*FNaW5kUmVhZGVyLSZnPTImbz1jY2FkN2JhMWYxZWU*MGM1OTc*ODk1NDVhOWIwMDhiNyZvZj*w.gif]