Oscars 2013: Host Seth MacFarlane’s Jokes -- The Hit List

February 24, 2013 Academy Awards

Funnyman Seth MacFarlane appeared on the 2013 Oscar stage, ready to entertain -- and occasionally causing some gasps as he took some hilarious swipes.

Oscars 2013: Host Seth MacFarlane’s Jokes -- The Hit List
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In his opening line, MacFarlane quipped, "And the quest to make Tommy Lee Jones laugh begins now.”

Here are some highlights:

On Chris Brown and Rihanna: "’Django Chained’ is the story of a man fighting to get back his woman, who's been subjected to unthinkable violence. Or as Chris Brown and Rihanna call it, a date movie."

On Mel Gibson: Continuing on Quentin Tarantino's slavery-era flick, which famously makes liberal use of the "N" word, MacFarlane said, "I'm told the screenplay is loosely based off of Mel Gibson’s voicemails."

On Jodie Foster: "As I said, tonight’s ceremony is being watched by a close to a billion people worldwide, which is why Jodie Foster will be up here in a bit to ask for her privacy."

On Ben Affleck: "First time I saw him with all that dark facial hair I thought, ‘My God, the Kardashians have finally made the jump to film.’"

On Jean Dujardin: “He won Best Actor for ‘The Artist,’ and now, he's… everywhere."

On Daniel Day-Lewis: "You were 100 percent in character as Lincoln, 24/7. … So if you saw a cell phone, would you have to be like, 'Oh my God, what's that?' If you bumped into Don Cheadle on the studio lot, did you try to free him?"

On Jennifer Lawrence, who took some flak for a joke she made when accepting her Best Actress Golden Globe, MacFarlane joked, "[Jennifer] told me whether she wins or loses, she told me it's just an honor that Meryl Streep wasn't nominated."

And then there was the "boob" song!

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Comments

Joboo
82 days ago

I'm not buying the "shock and awe" response as being genuine from the Hollywood tabloids, the magazines, or the crtitc who in their own right are nothing mor than professional bitchaholics with a captive audience anyway.

The Acadmey knew it going into ths exactly who Seth was, and what he was all bout, they heard him in countless interviews, they've herd him through his own shows, and going ino this they knew full well hat they were going to get. And thy got I. The highest viewer turnout in three years. Typical , get hat you won't then attack. God how do you people live with yourselves. If he was a saint coming into this and then he did this you could be pissed. Hee was Seth, true to form. What you think all those scenes with the boobs, the gay men's choir of LA, the Captain Kirk, you think the producers and the Academy didn't know up font that it was coming, it was well planned and choreagraphed. This was no surprise.

As or the so called cheap shots, if actors showing their boobs, dating teenagers, and beating women don't want to be on the receiving end of a Mel Gibson style joke /jab .....might I suggest....keep your boobs covered, keep your racism private, keep your very young girlfriends hidden.

I thought Seth did a brilliant if bringing in th young crowd with relevant humor and big laughs. Better than lame ass Billy Crystal. This is what the asked him to do. And the knew it. You got what Lu paid of. Shut up about it and mce on. Hippocrates!

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Sheila Riggins
88 days ago

until I saw the bank draft saying $4410, I be certain that my friend was like actually earning money part-time on their laptop.. there neighbour had bean doing this for only 6 months and by now repayed the mortgage on their apartment and bourt a new Citroën DS. read more at, jump15.com

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Milena
88 days ago

Worst host ever. Tasteless jokes and horrendous songs. Boobs and Losers, really!!!!

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