20 Favorite 'Dexter' Quotes
"Dexter's" Season 5 premieres on Showtime Sunday, so let's take a moment to remember some choice quotes from TV's coolest serial killer.
[voiceover about finding doll parts in his freezer] "I suppose I should be upset, even feel violated, but I'm not. No, in fact, I think this is a friendly message, like 'Hey, wanna play?' and yes I want to play. I really really do." — Dexter (Michael C. Hall)
Sergeant James Doakes
"The only real question I have is why in a building full of cops, all supposedly with a keen insight to the human soul, is Doakes the only one who gets the creep from me." — Dexter
Blood -- What Else?
"Blood. Sometimes it sets my teeth on edge, other times it helps me control the chaos." — Dexter
"Harry and Dorris Morgan did a wonderful job raising me. But they're both dead now. I didn't kill them. Honest." — Dexter
"Keeping the truth from the people closest to you is how you'll survive, and how you'll protect them if anything ever goes wrong." — Harry Morgan (James Remar)
'Daylight of Miami'
"There's something strange and disarming about looking at a homicide scene in the daylight of Miami. It makes the most grotesque killings look staged, like you're in a new and daring section of Disney World: Dahmerland!" — Dexter
Lt. Maria Laguerta
Lt. Maria Laguerta (Lauren Velez): "So then he must have already had the head with him in the front seat. Huh, that's weird. Why would he keep it there?"Dexter Morgan: "I don't know. So he could use a carpool lane."
'I'm Going to Have to Deal with Miguel'
"Just what I ordered: feigned civility with a heaping side of betrayal. It's becoming more and more clear that I'm going to have to deal with Miguel... Option one: I kill him. But he's too high profile. A popular A.D.A. disappears. The manhunt would be endless. Everyone he knows would be scrutinized. And that includes me. He's also my best man. I'd be expected to grieve... Option two: get him the hell out of my life. But its not that simple. He taught me how to golf. I taught him how to kill. I'm responsible if he takes another innocent life... So much for option two. He won't let our partnership dissolve. He's trying to get me under his thumb. And he's using Rita to do it. It's working... Which leaves option three: get him under MY thumb and keep him there." — Dexter
"I'm the helpful handyman. How evil can I be?" — Dexter
Vince Masuka (C.S. Lee): "Most of them have been underwater for years. But some, it's awesome, you can't even tell. The temperature on the ocean floor, and the airtight bags kept them intact. I mean, a little gelatinous residue, sure. But..." Dexter: [voiceover] "I'd rather remember my old playmates as they were. Neat, clean little packages."
"Born in blood, both of us, Harry was right. I thought I could change what I am, keep my family safe. But it doesn't matter what I do, what I choose. I'm what's wrong-This is fate. Hello, Arthur Mitchell." — Dexter
Special Agent Frank Lundy
Special Agent Frank Lundy (Keith Carradine): "So... the Rodrigo case. Let's talk about that one." Dexter: "Okay." Lundy: "Kind of blew it, didn't you?" Dexter: "I'm sorry?" Lundy: "Anthony Rodrigo: crack dealer with an apparent habit of killing people who got in his way. I believe this was... yes, Doakes' and Batista's case. They finally tied Rodrigo to one of his victims, built a solid manslaughter case, would have got him off the street for a few years. But the case largely rested on the blood work that you did. Blood work that in the course of the trial was proven to be, well... wrong. So, you-one of the most cautious and precise forensic specialists I've had the pleasure to work with-you performed blood work that directly led to Rodrigo walking free. I asked myself, 'How the hell did that happen?'" Dexter: [voiceover] "And did you answer, 'Dexter blew the case on purpose so that he could get Rodrigo off the streets for good with a cordless reciprocating saw?'"
"I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister." — Dexter
Having a Baby
Dexter: "Rita's pregnant." De bra Morgan (Jennifer Carpenter): "Say it again." Dexter: "Rita's pregnant." Debra: "You're lying." Dexter: "I'm not lying." Debra: "A baby? A motherf**king rolly-poly, chubby, cheeked, sh*t machine? Are you kidding me?" Dexter: "I've never heard it described in quite those words before, but yeah."
Rita Bennett (Julie Benz): "Deb must be a mess. I mean, falling for a serial killer?" Dexter: "What are the odds?"
'Everyone Needs a Vacation'
"Everyone needs a vacation. In my case it's time off... for bad behavior. But I intend to make the most of this family trip... that they're taking without me." — Dexter
Sgt. Angel Batista
Angel Batista (David Zayas): "Don't forget. Tell the universe what you need." Dexter: [voiceover] "I really need... to kill somebody."
"I just know there's something dark in me and I hide it. I certainly don't talk about it, but it's there always, this Dark Passenger. And when he's driving, I feel alive, half sick with the thrill of complete wrongness. I don't fight him, I don't want to. He's all I've got. Nothing else could love me, not even... especially not me. Or is that just a lie the Dark Passenger tells me? Because lately there are these moments when I feel connected to something else... someone. It's like the mask is slipping and things... people... who never mattered before are suddenly starting to matter. It scares the hell out of me." — Dexter
'A Gross, English, Titty Vampire'
"You are not allowed to talk about anyone I date as long as you're seeing little miss 'pardon my tits.' I'm sorry Dex, but she is gross! And pale, and nobody is pale in Miami. She is obviously a vampire. A gross, English, titty Vampire." — Debra about Dexter's girlfriend Lila (Jaime Murray).
"Needless to say I have some unusual habits, yet all these socially acceptable people can't wait to pick up hammers and publicly smash their food to bits. Normal people are so hostile." — Dexter