Tiger Woods: Funniest Jokes!
December 08, 2009 Hot Topics
From late-night hosts to golf blogs, everyone is taking shots at Tiger Woods! Fore! Take a look at "Extra's" list of some of the funniest Tiger Woods jokes!
What’s Tiger Woods’ new name? “Cheetah” (Credit: Brent’s Golf Blog)
“Last Friday, Tiger Woods hit a tree and a bunch of ladies fell out,” —Seth Meyers on “Saturday Night Live’s” “Weekend Update”
Tiger Woods’ new movie is out… “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.” —Headline from the London Sunday Times on Nov. 29, 2009.
Tiger Woods is so wealthy and he owns a large amount of expensive cars. Now he has a hole-in-one. (Credit: Brent’s Golf Blog)
10. Crash a State Dinner at the White House
9. Change name from “Tiger” to more adorable “Puppy”
8. Fix this whole healthcare mess
7. Put on a scarf and a hat and sing Christmas carols with Regis
6. Instead of sweatshops in Asia, have Nike merchandise made in a sweatshop right here in the USA
5. Retire, then come back and play for the Vikings
4. Safely land golf cart in the Hudson river
3. Release list of women he did not have sex with
2. Find Osama bin Laden
1. Blame Letterman
What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger Woods can drive a ball 400 yards. (Credit: Brent’s Golf Blog)
“One of the women who claims she slept with Tiger Woods says they never talked about golf while having sex. However, contractually Tiger was obligated to talk about Nike, Gatorade and American Express.” —Conan O’Brien
Why did Tiger Woods leave the house so early in the morning? He had a 2:30 tree time. (Credit: NBC Sports)
What do a Cadillac SUV and a Nike golf ball have in common? Tiger Woods can drive them both into the trees. (Credit: NBC Sports)
“In fact, so many women are coming forward they are now doing a TV show about it called, ‘Tiger and Kate Plus 8,’” —Jay Leno
“Tiger always gives 110 percent. That is why he gave 100 percent to his wife and still had 10 percent left over for his alleged mistresses,” —Stephen Colbert
The Tiger Woods alleged “Mistress Count” is up to ten. Eight more and he’ll be playing 18 holes. —(Credit: Dailycomedy.com)